Lynn Lee aka Lemon

I’m being too sensitive and I feel hurt.

Mind the people who wanna read this entry :
If u nv agree with; empathize with my grumbling and complaints before. Pls dun read this entry as u probably wont agree with me anyway.

Those ppl who know wat I am talking about pls for goodness sake, no need to remember anything and start asking me things. Cant forget? Den keep it to urself. Hai ya see? I’m worrying too much leh, I am the only one who are bothering myself and u all really dun need to care abt it.

These few days I’m busy with weibo thingy. Kinda really busy cos all the other committee either have to work or go to school, I’m the only one who are in between of job. Event at DXO a member reach at 9 and another member arrived with me ard 12pm. I woke up early to make the red eggs and pack all the things I need to bring. So we are the only ones ard. Later I left to meet another committee and help her get an album cos she haven buy. The food tat she treat me was the only thing I ate whole day. I q up a bit till abt 4pm I went to get my frenz to the place. Total frenz I brought is 17. I gotta walk here walk there one la. Later I got another 8 ppl frenz of a member. 25 in total ba…. Ha… well, but wat ppl see later was tat how cum only the chairman is doing all the things. We all are not really helping and she is so xing ku like tat. Well, the person the music company contact is not me, authority is not me, they dun recognise my authority, of cos she got to deal with it. I did wat I could do didn’t I? Mayb that wasn’t enough cos nobody saw it and recognise it. Mayb tat’s why. Ok den. I was actually happier and enjoy much more last time.

Well, I dun really know wat’s going to happen at the DXO performance. Felt quite left out ba. End up I am the only one stuck in the photo with the cake. Haha. Wat is said to be done was not done. I should be happier having a photo with him arh. Haha. Later people are more concerned about the cake den me. Okie, let’s just say ppl dun really bother about me. Tat should be it. Ha~

Well, I wanna declare that I know I cant change my appearance cos tat’s wat I have since I’m born into this world. I look mature and I know it long before anyone started commenting freely about it. I just dun look like 19. I look like 20 over I know I know, can just stop saying. More comments more guessing doesn’t make me any younger. 20, 21, 22, 23, all the way to 35 or watever age u all give me I gotta accept it arh. I cant change it can I? I know ppl around me look much younger den I am. Just tat ah can just stop asking ppl things like u tink who’s the youngest here? Or who is the oldest here? U know who will choose they will choose and wat they will say. Pls stop enjoying it? Well, I am who I am right? I know I am being overly sensitive about things other ppl say but it’s hard for me to change it. I will try though or else think I will get an early death or high blood pressure or watever. Mostly when I get a good night sleep, things become easier to handle haha.

Well, I dun like to talk to ppl I dun really know. Accept I am really comfortable with them which will take a longer time. Ppl who know me will know ba. Dun use ur own mindset to induce into mine. Hmmm, tink I hate it.

Calling out to ppl with good listening ear, or more sensitive inner side, willing to share and humorous ppl to be my frenz. Cos I’m really dunno why such a sensitive tat sometime I feel I’m suffocated by myself own feelings. I gotta need time to think. I dunno why I such a person who ask for so much things like respect, sensitivity, appreciation etc. I’m like making my life so difficult. My sis will say the world is like tat and on and on. Ok I know. Just let me get a good night sleep and I will forget all about it as I always do.

Sometime even when u say ur feelings or thoughts out, it never really get into ppl’s mind, cos they forget abt u easily. Even if I comment anything abt all these it would seems like I am making trouble and making everybody unhappy. So well, I remain the same. I talk to ppl I smile to ppl. I nv know I can disguise tat well, cos nobody notice anything. ~send a kiss to myself~ hahaha

Hard work is paid off? Not everytime ba. It all depends. Mayb cry out loud and pour out my anguish? Well, I cant do tat. Tat’s stupid. Real stupid.

I should be indifference to things ard me. I should always decide things and do things according to my emotions. cos it hurts will u fail to get wat u wanted. And u cant even get to listen to wat u wan to listen. My god tis is really hard. I dun wanna listen to ‘this is life’ kind of talk or ‘ u are childish, I’m more mature, tat why u tink of such things.’ Kind of talk. Life? I tink I see more and I choose not to tink so much. Cos there is no real answer to life.

Mayb I should just leave for a while and see wat happens. Well I gotta get enough $$ first. Haha.

The auto session today is quite gd. Just tat seems like members are on closer terms with e idol den us ah. Haha. Funny. Funny world.

Maybe I am just too tired to tink. Or I tink to much, cos it is all small things actually and it is just me who enlarge the matters.

Oh right hang ten post me to toa payoh. So far gotta take 1 hour to go, cant change venue. Mayb I should reject it. Or mayb not. See how things goes tml.

Maybe I should really give myself a break. I got 200% of guilty conscience tat I carry with me all thru 19 years, minus away the years I was a baby though. I cant get a good night sleep if I fall asleep while I am doing hw. When I promise someone things I will HAVE to do it. Anything on my hands I gotta do it perfectly, if not I will feel guilty. Sub-standard hw make me feel guilty. I am really feeling I should give myself a break. Tat why I dun wanna promise ppl I will meet u; I will go out with u; I will help u; etc. cos I know if I nv do it I will guilty all over again and the feeling is nv good. No promises make no empty promises, right?

Think I had said too much. Too bad den.