Some times when i look out of the window i wish i'm on my rooftop, looking up at the sky and find myself so small compare to it. And i live without having a care in the world as i'm living in my own world in my own way.....knowing that i'm small and the world don't eolve around me, will make me realise that my stressful thinkings should not last so long.
i dun like to work hard, or maybe i can't make up my mind to do so... there are always lots of other distractions for me to lose my concentration. my future seems bleak. whether or not i'll pass my OWLs is an important factor whether i can promoto to next year or not. but i can't predict the future...
it hard for my gloomy world to change cos in my world i cant see e future......it's dark like a night sky. i can't even see how big the world is....
tonight is a blacky night for a pisces like me for everyday is a busy day for me. i wan to have enough time for me to stop and think and reflect. what hav i done so far? what do i like in life? or mayb read some books on astronomy and find out how to watch stars and planets, compose a song or lyrics.....etc etc... but there's no time for that. i'm on the beginning step everyday without stepping out to try and figure out the things tat i like. when, when can i do these?
in the years of studies, everything i rem was results, results and results. watz more? studies mayb more impt now, ppl will say focus in studying first....but that's a long long time to go....can i bear it.....
the outside world is worse than we know. we will expect the unexpected, face the reality, the truth about youself....hai~ how am i goin to face the world..... oh my god.....all negative thoughts come to my mind......and i'm not making sense at all...hai~ my mind is confused
let's hope all the gods come to help me when i'm having OWls.... going to sleep soon but i cant clear my mind.... Snape will sure be mad if he knows that i haven been practising Occlumency.....
Saturday, April 03, 2004
