Now I finally truly understand what are by ‘office politics’ and backstabbing. I thought all govt org are good as I got a good impression of IRAS but now I realised it’s not it. The place is really what can I say? Ermm, not wat I expected. I thought everybody would be as friendly as the staff at IRAS but nope. They maybe friendly when they smile at you but u won’t know what they speak of behind your back. They speak of your clothes, your appearance, your figure and things that you wish you will never need to know (I wish that I will continue to remain unknown). Being nice to your boss and you will get all the benefits. Being especially friendly to you but tell tales of you to your person in charge behind your back. In a world where nobody else lookout for you. Heard complains about yourself while the person speaking bad about you is just standing right beside you. But in order to earn enough to get by everyday you gotta live in spitefulness. Cheer yourself up when supervisor nag at you. Try to console yourself that your contract is ending(when actually you still have 2/3 more to go and you are thinking whether or not to stay just for the sake of money). Angry when you are stuck in a position like this. Vexed when your agent say of nothing that could change ur working environment. Hateful when you yourself cant do anything too.
Today I gave my comments to my supervisor to put up some notices to tell the public that our lobby do not entertain job seekers, cannot surf other website, etc. as there a notice board at my work place so might as well use the space. But due to the reason of ‘the notice appearance not nice’ it’s rejected by my supervisor. I suggested this is because, we always get scolded for telling ppl off that here cant go to other website, no more job searching etc. if there is a way to solve it, why dun we solve it once and for all? If public always dun read the notice (which is the reason given by my SUPERvisor), at least we can tell them what we said is true it’s just tat you never read our notice. At least it reduce the percentage we get scolded or shouted at any ‘customer’ isn’t it? I told him it’s my experience in IRAS, but it seems nothing to him. His boss told me that since I worked in IRAS before I can give them suggestions, but it seems that they will not be listening to what “I” a small officer’s words den they apply to wat I said. Well, what I can say is, we are employed to get scolded. Paid to be scolded. At least my heart felt better, while I am in IRAS getting scolded even more seriously. Really f***er man. (extremely hard to see me swearing, as I hope I remain my blog nice and polite, but really, if I dun complain now, when can I complain?!)
I really wish and WISHED that people could be more simple minded. Life can be simple and happy you know. Seeing a backstabber in front of me and I still got to act like I am your nice smiling good colleague. No wonder my colleague told me to be careful. At least now I know. Ha~ today I punched my card 2 minutes early before knock off time. Dunno why I did that I could wait for another 2 minutes easily, but I just straight away punch and off I go. Today is just not my day. Haha to make up for it think I gotta reach workplace early tml and punch back the time I missed. Why ppl like me have to subdue to all these kind of things? ! I hate to be restricted. I hate it. All just because I need money. Working just for the sake of money is really terrible.
My sis asked me how come I always find this kind of job and I never find something I like? As my colleague says, it’s never easy to find work tat you like. But what I think is, maybe I am just lack of luck. I played the tarot cards and calculated that for my job searching I can only depend on myself, if I find hard enough I will get it. If not I wont get it. I never got any chance of getting anybody helping me successfully. Where has my luck gone too? Had my previous life spent it all?
Really tired from all these kind of things related to work. I just wan a simple simple job where I can stable stable work and get money, why it all becomes complicated? Maybe I shouldn’t be born into this world after all. Maybe things tat I pursues never exist. Maybe I am just dreaming about everything. Maybe I still live in my world.
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
