Lynn Lee aka Lemon

p/s: This blog i meant to blog on 29th of July, but dunno why my pc cant go online. so i am blogging in now..

Had a lousy week. With a lot of changes in my workplace as my leader FINALLY submit his resignation letter to our supervisor. Now you know, he is leaving by the end of this month, moving forward to another better environment that he chose himself. I wish all the best to him. (^_^) But here comes my troubles… My supervisor is unable to get a new person to replace his position and therefore he gave another solution, which is to arrange other department new staffs from the counter to be attaching to my workplace, to assist us. Which by now I realize it seems unlikely they will be the one assisting us it should be vice versa. They are new, all very new and know zero knowledge of my work. And the greatest thing is that next week my leader is leaving, who will be the one going through all the dirty shitty things? It will be my colleague and me, myself. It is not I am not willing to share my knowledge with them. It is just that their rank is higher than because they are holding a diploma and they seems unwilling to do these kind of ‘dirty’ front-line customer service kind of job. But maybe I should give them more time to get use to it. Things are not going to get better if I continue to feel like this. I do not like changes, which is bad anybody who are in the working field. I should adapt to it. But the thing is, they should be more willing to move around and learn something right?! Not like four statues saluting to all the customers and our backsides isn’t it?? I know I should give them more time, they do not know that they got to learn so many new things in such little time they have. But as what I have heard from my leader, supervisor is saying that letting them learn through on-job-training no theory, (which mean is to let them learn the hard way) since their rank is higher than us, they got to be able t handle all these things. But from what I observed these few days, it is always more safe to depend on myself isn’t it? I got to change my alternate working Saturday also. Weird and uneasy. I got to work with one of the new staff, really weird and uneasy. Mind you I mention earlier that I hate changes.

Think I may not renew my contract by the end of September. Quite sick and tired of the nasty people I have to face almost everyday. And to remind everybody again, I mentioned before, Singaporeans are the most difficult customers to deal with. There is always a reason why we are voted the most inconsiderate Asia country. At least other customers from other countries tried to understand your difficulties other than just start to yell and demand for a higher superior to speak with like you have nothing better off to do. We are just too arrogant.

I want to declare something the three things that I hated most in my life getting into troublesome situation; tidying up my things and to find things that are missing. Most of the time I will just let it be. If I really cannot find it. Haha. That is why every Chinese New Year cleaning I start to discover things that I lost. Haha.
I thought I was going to get my menses that is my mood start to swing so badly. But now I realise my bad mood does not have anything to do with my menses, as my bad mood does not occur every month. Maybe it is life cycle telling me you are getting older and your temper is starting to get hot and bad. For this whole week the first thing I say when I reach home to tell my mum not to speak to me because no matter what she says I will shot her back. To avoid argument I rather stop anything to happen first, mind you I hate troublesome things. I criticize anything I heard and complain about everything I see. Especially now there are so many changes at work, even more things to worry about. Luckily I still got my colleague to accompany me. She is handling it pretty well I think it is because she had more working experience than me and she faced different kind of situations before. But the thing is she dislike the situations now just like me. Just that she can handle it at least won’t complain like me. Haha. Wonder what will I do if I without her, time will be harder to pass by wor… nobody to chitchat with me. Shitty… there is another colleague going to come over for attachment (supervisors really fear that if we left, nobody have the knowledge of all the online services sia… haha) oh she is infamous for her lack of professional working attitude, well-known for being crappy also. Hai~ Worse is yet to come…

I want to dye my hair purple again sia. I got the urge and this time I will buy those colour lock shampoo and conditional to help me retain the colour. Hee~
I should really heed the advice of my sis’s friend, I should really find another person that I can ‘waste’ my time on. I can’t expect my sister to be always around ah….

About my studies………… I had written a lot of …….. Because I think I may not be cut out for studies. But on the other hand what can I do with my pathetic A level useless cert? I got all kind of loans in the family and money is already depleted since last time my sis studying. She got help from relative and friend also to work through the financial difficulties. Mind you my mum are working that time. Sometime I tend to think what am I doing with my life? Should I do this? Should I do that? Why am I doing this? What am I still waiting for? Even if I really make up my mind to study, maybe school fee I can take loan from the school, maybe I can take up part time job. But is it a life that I want to bear? Anybody can support me? Yes mum can take a part time job, maybe sis willing to give something. But these are things you hope will happen, will they happen like you wish? Since long time ago I know there are no use of wishing for something because nothing ever come true for me. I am pessimistic I admit. You can scream at my laziness and the lousy way I procrastinate my problems. But it seems the best way to keep my mood light. Or else I will bang my head on the wall everyday… Thinking of things that are affecting me. Thinking of ‘if’ and ‘should’ and ‘will’.

Not studying means that I can contribute more to the family now. And our problem may not be a problem, yet.

Like what people say, sometime I should think of my family than myself. Rather than saying I sacrifice my studies, I help my family through crisis and the thing is I can’t even be sure of my studies now. What if I back out again? Who will bear the consequences? It is still me and myself. Sometime it really the Tian Shi Di Li Ren He is not right for you. Maybe your luck is not there and people have already use up your luck for you and there is nothing left for you to fight for. It is not giving up but turning to another alternative. Some people say also, studies are not the only way out, isn’t it?

Hey I really think I will blog when I am feeling unhappy sia~ why ah~?