Lynn Lee aka Lemon

Absurdity. Absolute absurd. This world is full of absurdity.

Actions are all lead on by emotions and simple values (or what we say common sense / action) have travel all the way to Egypt or somewhere that I have not been before. Why do I always feel that I have to give everybody a sense of equality and rights in any ways in life, whereas not everybody do this vice versa? I always thought that I since I cannot fulfil noble acts of humanity, I try to be a rightful person in my own small world. But seems like not everyone is brought up that way though.

When I am here thinking that I already have a bad temper and I am trying to think of ways to control myself, I realise there are people who are worse than me. When I expect someone to pay attention to me or need someone help, I expect them to at least listen to what am I saying, but it seems like they are too absorbed in their own world to realise that there is someone trying to speak to them. All questions will be deemed as intruding and annoying. Even though it maybe questions like, ‘ can you help me get that?’ or ‘are you hungry?’. Why cant people react nicely to people around them? It not like we are picking up a fight or something. I just expect a helpful solution or a simple reply.

The 'best' thing will be they treat you as they heard nothing of whatever you are saying, when you thought they have misheard your question and you ask again, they will retort and snorted an irritating reply of ‘ what do you want?!’. I just expect a simple equality and respect.But when these people need your help, they will insist that you give your help to them with immediate effect. When the last time you ‘bother’ them, they disregard you. It seems like nothing happened.Some time it is like a black humour. When I bought something to view and share with my family. I expect enjoyment. Instead it brought me vexation (I dunno whether I can use this word like this, hope you know what I mean). They insist on their having their own entertainment. When you can only accept it. I know everybody who see me, will know that I am an easy and available person to take advantage of. But please be more considerate. Remember ‘ Ji Suo Bu Yu, Wu Shi Yu Ren’. Think I am really like a Libra in this sense. (only)

I am dependable on the people around me as people know I am an indecisive person. I really try hard not to be, but it is tedious. It is as if build-in in your body and it either you cut your meat out that part or you live with it. Sigh~I still have not tell me supervisor whether will I be renewing my contract. There are always a lot of Pros and Cons… For one thing, I really HATE going to those (you3 de3 mei2 de3)courses or workshop that my company make me go. I know I should be proactive blah blah blah… But that is all bullshit! Who cares about it anyway? I attended numerous courses/workshops when I don’t even know what am I doing there wasting my youth.

Second is that they are unable to increase my pay. Hey come on! The economy IS recovering! Instead of wasting money arranging meaningless things to do, why not increase my pay?!

Third is that, there will be a lot of changing after I renew my contract starting in Oct. Real major changes that I hate. They will require us to increase our knowledge for another 80% though our pay will not increase and there will be no bonus compared to everybody else.

The Pros? Well, it just save my arse looking for new job.