20 days to go...
Colleagues are urging me to extend my stay in hang ten at least to the end of sept. i dunno whether to accept anot. cos my next job is not cfm yet. the more i'm working the more my vocab or grammar or wat my language will deteriorate. cos my brain is not working anymore. i really cant stand the long hours but i cant stand the invisible and visible family stress i will get if i'm jobless yet again. i feel more n more vague about my future nowadays. seeing everybody progress in their lives, it's like they are learning things that they wan and they are making improvement in their lives. but i am like neither here nor there. after i get my A level results i am neither here nor here. cant a person live like tis forever? tink i can be the first if there are nobody else to fight the position.
i hate myself for grumbling and thinking too much. cos it never do me any good. physically and mentally tired tat wat i msg ann. haha.
wat is life acutally abt? i know everyone should get hold of their lives and make a difference in it but i seems to face obstacles in every way i turn. someone straight and sensible are going to start scolding me, but i cant help it. i'm born like tis, my mind controlling my body and thinkin and i cant change it. it like i cant change the envirnoment ard me. same case.
maybe i should cry
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
